October 1, 1591 – Ajaccio

     The heavy scent of blood begins to have an effect on me that it rarely has before. Guilt. Not regret. Regret is a constant companion. No, guilt is different. It was not my choice to become a monster so the outcomes of being one is not often accompanied by guilt. However, I did choose this massacre and I chose it for selfish reasons. I am to blame for the death I feel in this home. 
     The pain of blaming oneself could consume a vampire easily if it is permitted to do so. But when a freshly warmed hand touches mine, I know it will not consume me tonight. With her eyes still black, Yen slides onto my lap. Her fingers push through my hair and traces crimson along my jawline. Heat surges through me, distracting me from feeling culpable. Surrounded by bodies in a tiny living room, she wants to take away my pain. And I will let her. I will let her take every part of me. 

June 17, 1828 – Boracay

      The sun set hours ago; yet the sand is still warm between my toes. Some humans come to this island to relax, letting the waves take away the troubles of their mundane lives. Others come for amusement, fun in the sun helps them forget how mundane their lives truly are. My only wish in this moment is to experience a genuinely mundane night. One without hunting, and one without killing. Just one boringly, human-like evening in which I could pretend that my life is mundane. A night filled with sitting on a beach, imaging a life in which my monster does not call me.
      The moon is low tonight but its light is weak, allowing the waters to remain an inky black. It would be a good night for hunting. One could get close to a human before they were ever even noticed. However in the consuming darkness of the ocean, Kate stands alone as the water laps against her. Waving me toward the dark abyss, her smile beckons me to join her. Raising to my feet, I start toward the water. I came here to feel human; and right now, nothing seems more human than swimming with your best friend. The only friend who really sees my darkness but still refuses to look away. 

April 3, 1938 - Cleveland

     Headlines scream across the front page, another missing person. Another body waiting to be found. Another family full of heart break. He thinks he is invincible; that nobody can outsmart him. But hunting is not about outsmarting anyone. It is about being cunning, ruthless, and patient.  Waiting to find your perfect opportunity, exploit it, and continue to go unnoticed.  But he has been noticed. Far too much. This human is bringing too much unwanted attention to my hunting grounds. Too many police paroling the dark alleys and shady streets in hopes of preventing more bodies. His monster is interfering with mine. So while he watched her, my eyes stalked him. 
     As he believes himself to be untouchable, it will be my teeth that pierce his skin. And while he begins to view himself as some type of god, it will be his undeniably moral blood that quenches my thirst. Unlike his victims, the police will not his body. My killings are far less untidy, and far less ostentatious than his. Another unidentified serial killer off of the streets. Just a predator consumed by another predator. The police have not been able to find him; but he cannot hide from me.  Nobody saved her and nobody will stop me. 

June 18, 1923 - Chicago

     Sitting in the back, I watch the humans drinking merrily. Their voices carry through the room as though it may not make it through the hazy cigar smoke lurking in the air if their voices weren’t projected so loudly. Laughing, they have no suspicion of what watches them. The monster inside me smiles with each passing moment knowing that my birthday gift to myself grows closer. Tomorrow, I will indulge myself, though there is no real purpose to it. Humans rejoice their passing years as they transcend through the decades, growing, learning, but mostly aging. 

     Yet is it really necessary to celebrate aging when you don’t? Regardless, my birthday tomorrow gives me an excuse to act on my sincerest impulses. The blond waitress that bring me another drink will suffice my basic carnal needs. She is young and vibrant with blood rich with sweetness. Tomorrow, that will end. She is my gift to myself. Her trepidation will delight my inner monster, her blood will quench my ravenous thirst, and her pain will spill over my every craving. This will be slow and extensive. I will let her pain and my pleasure linger. Her blood will run warm. There will be screaming. So much screaming. And it will satisfy me. 

August 25, 1982 - Miami

     While the humans complain about the thick air crushing their lungs, I stare blankly at the ceiling in her apartment. The floor fan blowing humid air in a desperate attempt to cool the night. Saturated with sweat, the bed sheets cling to me uncomfortably but I do not move. My mind is calm. My thirst is satisfied. I never intended to kill her but I make the most in this temporary peace. My body does not urge me to hunt, my mind does not plague me with memories, and my guilt has not yet set in. This is the serenity that people search for. No longing. No desires. No worries. Just me, a stuffy room, and a still-warm body. Her body will begin to show signs of death. The stench, the stiffening, and the pallor. But for now, for this one moment, her arm is draped across my stomach as through she is merely sleeping and there is a tapping on the floor where her blood drips from her fingers that is lulling me into a subtle tranquility. For this one moment, my life is perfect.